My Simple Community

I was in a meeting with the staff of a local newspaper recently. We were talking about ways to interact more with neighbors and the sales person mentioned three or four interesting things happening that week that I didn’t know about.  I remember thinking “I wish I knew about this stuff.” 

When I got home from the meeting I went online to search things to do in my area.  I am certain I didn’t scratch the surface, but I found most the things she talked about.  It took no more than 15 minutes and it was worth it.  Three (obvious) key sources to consider: local newspaper, city website, and the Chamber of Commerce.

If your experience is like mine, 5-15 minutes online each week may be all it takes to identify things to do that connect you more deeply with your neighbors.

If you find any consistent clues to finding things, please pass them along.

By the way, in the process you learn interesting things. For example, did you know there are tribes of wild monkeys in Florida?  There are.  Who knew…

Maybe the easiest way to make the social distinction between being technologically connected – known as social networking – and being right there with a person face-to-face is face time.  This is the first post in a group called “Face Time” because it is key to true community.

There are many who say social networking is as good as face time, some say it’s even better because we are in contact more often.  I can support that in my own teaching. For more than ten years now, when I teach undergraduate college courses, I always have a day when I ask about personal communication.  It’s usually far enough into the semester that I have a rapport with the students and they are generally candid with me.  

I ask them two questions.  First, how many have sent or received a message during this class period.  I’d say the number has been over 50% for more than the last five years.  No surprise there.  Second, how many communicated with a parent during the class period? There is always at least one and sometimes as many as a half dozen.  No doubt, cell phones alone have kept college kids and young adults in more frequent contact with their parents. And that’s a great thing.

But while I certainly agree the technology enabling social networking has led to more frequent communication, there are very important things missing, still, that only face time can provide. Over several blog posts I will share a bunch of them.  Here is the first.

Among the most important is vulnerability.  I am amazed at how easy it is for me to ask or say something through technology that I would be too afraid or embarrassed to say in person. This concept is not new. Long before personal computers romantic relationships were ended with “Dear John,” letters.  Writing a letter was seen as the easy way out of the relationship because you didn’t have to confront the impact of your decision on poor John.

That’s exactly the point.  Social networking provides a buffer against personal responsibility for our communication acts. Is that a good thing?

We are bold to comment, suggest, ask for things online and in texts that we would never consider saying face-to-face with a person.  An entire generation is being raised with a social suit of social armor protecting them from the impact of their personal communication.

Face time, and only face time, reminds us of the full and direct impact – good and bad – of what we communicate with others. We need more of those reminders if we are going to build civility. Civilization, the civilized world, community – there is a connection here.

Maybe the easiest way to make the social distinction between being technologically connected – known as social networking – and being right there with a person face-to-face is face time.  This is the first post in a group called “Face Time” because it is key to true community.

There are many who say social networking is as good as face time, some say it’s even better because we are in contact more often.  I can support that in my own teaching. For more than ten years now, when I teach undergraduate college courses, I always have a day when I ask about personal communication.  It’s usually far enough into the semester that I have a rapport with the students and they are generally candid with me.  

I ask them two questions.  First, how many have sent or received a message during this class period.  I’d say the number has been over 50% for more than the last five years.  No surprise there.  Second, how many communicated with a parent during the class period? There is always at least one and sometimes as many as a half dozen.  No doubt, cell phones alone have kept college kids and young adults in more frequent contact with their parents. And that’s a great thing.

But while I certainly agree the technology enabling social networking has led to more frequent communication, there are very important things missing, still, that only face time can provide. Over several blog posts I will share a bunch of them.  Here is the first.

Among the most important is vulnerability.  I am amazed at how easy it is for me to ask or say something through technology that I would be too afraid or embarrassed to say in person. This concept is not new. Long before personal computers romantic relationships were ended with “Dear John,” letters.  Writing a letter was seen as the easy way out of the relationship because you didn’t have to confront the impact of your decision on poor John.

That’s exactly the point.  Social networking provides a buffer against personal responsibility for our communication acts. Is that a good thing?

We are bold to comment, suggest, ask for things online and in texts that we would never consider saying face-to-face with a person.  An entire generation is being raised with a social suit of social armor protecting them from the impact of their personal communication.

Face time, and only face time, reminds us of the full and direct impact – good and bad – of what we communicate with others. We need more of those reminders if we are going to build civility. Civilization, the civilized world, community – there is a connection here.

Anyone who is part of a school can do this.  First, check and see if your school HAS a music program.  If they do, find out when their next music program is. If you want to light up someone’s day, go to the music program.  Even if you, yourself, can’t or don’t want to go, promote it.

I am certain you can find a way to get word to someone who would appreciate knowing about it.  And think of all the benefits.  Think back to your school days when only the parents and friends of those on stage attended. Think of how you would have felt had other come JUST BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE THERE.

And all you have to do to help is one simple act of promotion.  Tell someone.

Now… If you are in athletics at an NCAA DII school… you can do much more.  You have a basketball game coming up.  Find out what programs th music department has coming up and promote their next event at halftime or on the scoreboard.

The music students at the game will be blown away and tell other music students who will be appreciative. And guess what, you might have one more music student at your next game.

Promote the joys of others.  So simple. So powerful. So thoughtful.

Anything worth doing takes effort. It also takes time. Community takes both as well. Community also seems to happen during our “off time” – after work, on the weekend, in the evenings, during our breaks – when a very high priority is to “Just say no.”  We are working so hard, feeling the stress & pressure, sorting out all the changes in life, that when the breaks come, we want to say no.  

Somewhere along the way, I started willing myself to just say yes – don’t think it through, if it involves community, say yes first then figure out if I want to do it. The thing is I DO IT no matter what, because I said I would.  So far, almost every time I find myself thinking I’m glad I said yes.